Smore the Trikitty

It’s very likely that during this time, your pawrent(s) are going to be very concerned for you. They might cry. They might doubt that this is the best option for you. They might annoy you and refuse to leave you alone. You might be scared, but I assure you: everything will be just fine.

I’ve only been a tripawd for two and a half weeks. I’m probably not the most credible source, but it’s all fresh in my mind at least. I wrote these for my feline friends in mind, but tip #10 is just for dogs.

So here we go without any particular order.

Tip #1: Enjoy the disgusting stuff they give you

When you come home from the hospital, your humans are probably going to give you stuff that isn’t going to taste very well, but it’s going to make life more fun to look at. Seriously, I saw like five birds flying around the house all the time. I’d swat at the air and BAM, they were dead. It was AWESOME.

It’ll also make that strange pain and itch at your side go away. I know, it tastes nasty, but take it. You’ll thank me later. It’ll be about the only source of entertainment you’ll get during recovery. Humans don’t think we should move much.

Tip #2: Humor your Human

Humans take the post-op process in a couple different ways. Some, like my human, are just super excited about everything you do like it’s the first time you’ve done it. I played with a mouse, and I swear my human thought I had solved a calculus problem.

Humor your human. Keep doing all those “amazing” things. There’s bound to be extra petting, food, treats, and toys from your human for doing them. Yes, even if you’ve done this for ten years. Milk it for all it’s worth.

You’ll get bonus points for striking pretty poses that they can share with others later.

Tip #3: Comfort your Human

Other humans take the post-op process another way and cry a lot. You see to humans losing a leg is a Big Deal. They only have two, so they don’t really get that we can lose one and still go on to live normal lives. Humans aren’t always logical, but it’s okay. We’re here to enlighten and comfort them.

When your pawrent cries, comfort them. They need to know you still love them and aren’t mad at them. Humans are weird like that. It’s like they think we are going to believe that they wished for this to happen. Yes, I know, it really is strange, but that’s what they think. You and I both know that no human is going to willfully wish their feline friend gets cancer or gets hurt so that they’ll lose a leg. Even the more heartless ones wouldn’t because they know that it’ll cost a lot.

So comfort them and let them know you’re not mad at them. It’ll make them feel better.

Tip #4: Don’t Climb Boxes While Enjoying “the Good Stuff” from Tip #1

Do not climb up on cardboard boxes. When you go to get down, you’ll turn it over on yourself. It’s not fun being stuck under a box. ‘Nuff said.

Tip #5: Be Patient with Your Human

Your human is under a lot of stress and feeling emotional. They’re going to wonder if they made the right decision. They’re going to wonder if you can do X, Y, and Z. They’re going to follow you around to make sure you don’t get into mischief. They’re going to try cleaning your butt too. Or at least, mine did.

Just remember, when they’re really annoying you, to be patient. They really do mean well.

Tip #6: Choose one: Cone of Shame versus Clothes

For some reason, humans don’t think we should lick at our wounds despite this being a normal aspect of being a cat. I blame it on the fact that they have lost all their fur and no longer use their tongues to groom themselves. Such pitiful creatures.

When I came home from the hospital, I had a stupid cone on my head. It made it impossible to see. I ran into things, and I’m sure they all thought it was because I was “disabled”.

Then, just after I managed to get the darned thing off, my human presented me with a t-shirt made for dogs. DOGS! What was she thinking? It was a dent in my pride, but I quickly decided to accept the t-shirt because at least I could walk normally.

So choose which one you’d rather live with for the next couple days to two weeks.

Or quickly learn to resist the urge to lick at your wounds. Your human might have sympathy and refrain from using either. Once you get through the first two weeks, you’ll get your stitches or whatever they put in you out. Then, you can lick away.

Tip #7: Accept Change

Obviously there is a bit of change required after losing a limb. Front amputees like me will learn that getting down isn’t nearly as easy anymore. My tip? Slide down with your body against the object as long as possible to make landing easier or find an alternative method of getting down that does not require jumping very far.

Rear amputees will learn that getting up may be troublesome. Look for alternative routes to get to higher locations or meow pitifully to your humans while staring at your preferred destination. I’m sure they’ll catch on and help you. Eventually, they’ll give you an alternate route too if one doesn’t exist.

Tip #8: Be Patient with Yourself

It’ll take a while to get back into the swing of things, but I assure you: you will learn to do the things you used to do. You might not do them the same way, but you’ll adapt and find a way. We are cats after all.

Tip #9: Enjoy Life
That’s really all I can think of as far as tips go. After your stitches are removed, life is pretty much what you make it. Take breaks as needed when you play or run. You lost  your spare leg, so be careful not to hurt the others.

And remember that humans need love too. They helped give you a second chance instead of putting you to sleep or giving you away. They deserve the extra attention, so crawl into their lap and purr away.

Tip #10: Dogs Only
Well, sadly you were born a dog, but I hear dogs do well on three legs too. So go back to tip #1 and read them all, just make sure you scratch out cat and put in dog.